Oh boy, my first choice university!
This tour will be affirmation for me
The tour guides represent the students here
This one is a championship skier
That one has found a cure for Alzheimer’s
And is one of the debate team founders
I think I’ve heard this blue light speech before
At every school I’ve visited, but sure
Tell me about your great security,
And the school’s stunning diversity
Did News and World Reports vote you the best?
Well then you must be far above the rest
Am I being jaded and cynical?
It is because this feels so cyclical
This tour, my tenth, has become a great bore
I’m trapped in the maze of the Minotaur
But no Ariadne to bring me string
On myriad tours to false hope I cling
Wishing the next visit opens my eyes
But perhaps this school I should not despise
This college could be the optimal fit
These happy students are enjoying it
Happy students on Sunday of all days
‘Morrow is Monday, but they are not fazed
They must be so excited for classes
That they can’t wait ‘til the weekend passes
Or maybe they’re eager for a reason crude
“You ready for Messed Up Monday my dude!?”
Yes, promise of inebriation has
Excited the students since Creation
At least I can cross this school off my list
And by me it will not be sorely missed
I can’t attend where Mondays are profaned
Or Wes Williams’ eternal shame I will have gained